People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
