I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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