she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I showed him my bush... on skype.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
