fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
