Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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