Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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