Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
