you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
