The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
