if i can run in heels then i can drive
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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