just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
