I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
