3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
