dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
