I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
