break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize