my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
