sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
