she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
