dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
