I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
