we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize