Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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