Pregnant stripper...not hot.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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