Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Bring me that man meat
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
