Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
