She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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