do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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