Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
she smelled like a LAN party
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
We have started to decorate penises.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
