YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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