I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
