It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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