More tranny stories later!
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
