Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
