think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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