who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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