Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
