seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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