haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
