Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
