i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
