I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
