Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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