so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
