if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
