What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
