we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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