Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
