just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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