We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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