Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
