so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
