I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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