i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
