11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
