some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
