Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
