you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
