the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
